Chapter Thirteen
Amnon Rapes His Sister Tamar
13:1 Now Absalom, David’s son, had a beautiful sister, whose name was Tamar. And after a time Amnon, David’s son, loved her.
David had several wives and the majority of them gave birth to both sons and daughters, while some were full brothers and sisters (having the same mother and father), most of David’s children were half sisters and brothers (same father but different mothers). The mother of David’s son Absalom was Maacah, the daughter of Talmai, the king of Geshur, she also had a daughter by the name of Tamar, who is described here as being beautiful. The mother of David’s first son, Amnon, was Ahinoam (no other child of her’s is reported in Scripture), who, “after a time,” loved (Hebrew yě·ʾěhā·ḇě’, to like, to love) Tamar, his half sister.
13:2 And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her.
Amnon became so fixated on Tamar that he was tormented (Hebrew yē’·ṣěr, distress, frustrated) that he made himself ill (Hebrew hiṯ·ḥǎl·lôṯ’, weak, sick, diseased), because she was a virgin and since the law required women to remain a virgin until they were married (see Deuteronomy 22:13-21), he thought it would be impossible for him to “do anything to her.” Plus, it was illegal for him to consider a relationship with his sister (see Leviticus 18:11).
13:3 But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah, David’s brother. And Jonadab was a very crafty man. 4 And he said to him, “O son of the king, why are you so haggard morning after morning? Will you not tell me?” Amnon said to him, “I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.” 5 Jonadab said to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be ill. And when your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘Let my sister Tamar come and give me bread to eat, and prepare the food in my sight, that I may see it and eat it from her hand.’ ”
Amnon being so affected by his fixation of Tamar that he was haggard (Hebrew dǎl’, poor, weak, possibly losing weight from not eating) and getting worse every morning. We are told that Amnon had a “very crafty friend” named Jonadab who, after hearing why Amnon was acting so sullen, suggested that he fake an illness and persuade his father into having Tamar personally prepare food (Hebrew bir·yāh’, some form of prepared food, the word is rare and is only found three times in the Bible, all three in this chapter) for him.
13:6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. And when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come and make a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand.”
Amnon did as Jonadab suggested and pretended to be sick and asked his father to have Tamar prepare some food for him in his sight. He asked for a couple of cakes (Hebrew lᵉḇi·ḇôṯ’, a special bread, perhaps a dumpling, some believe this word describes heart-shaped pastries or dumplings) to be made while he watches her and then she can hand feed him.
13:7 Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, “Go to your brother Amnon’s house and prepare food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house, where he was lying down. And she took dough and kneaded it and made cakes in his sight and baked the cakes. 9 And she took the pan and emptied it out before him, but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, “Send out everyone from me.” So everyone went out from him.
David agrees and instructed Tamar to go to Amnon and prepare some food for him and she made cakes (Hebrew tᵉlǎb·bēḇ’, to stir the heart, make cakes). Once the food was prepared, Amnon refused to eat, and then had everyone else leave the room.
13:10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the chamber, that I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the cakes she had made and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother. 11 But when she brought them near him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, “Come, lie with me, my sister.”
Now alone with Tamar, Amnon asks her to bring the food to him in the chamber (Hebrew ḥě·ḏěr’, a parlor, room, innermost part, bedroom) and when she did, he grabbed her and said, “Come, lie with me, my sister.”
13:12 She answered him, “No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this outrageous thing. 13 As for me, where could I carry my shame? And as for you, you would be as one of the outrageous fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” 14 But he would not listen to her, and being stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her.
Tamar told him, no! She asked him not to violate her, that having sexual intercourse before marriage is not done in Israel as it is against God’s law. Tamar also told him that she would be shamed and that he would be considered a fool (Hebrew neḇā·lîm’, dense morally, intellectually, and spiritually) in all of Israel. She begged him not to rape her and that if he spoke to their father that he would surely give her to him for marriage. Undoubtedly desperate words in an attempt to stop him and save her honor, but he would not listen and he proceeded to rape her.
13:15 Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up! Go!”
After raping her, Amnon suddenly became revolted by her, his violent and uncontrollable passion for her quickly turned to hatred after their intercourse. He no longer desired her, as his love for her turned to loathing. So he tells her to get up and leave. Some believe that the sudden revulsion was due to him feeling shame and the dread of exposure followed by the inevitable punishment.
13:16 But she said to him, “No, my brother, for this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me.” But he would not listen to her. 17 He called the young man who served him and said, “Put this woman out of my presence and bolt the door after her.”
By rejecting her now after being violated, condemns her to potentially a lifetime of solitude since she was no longer a virgin and therefore would not be able to marry someone else. Amnon called his servant to take her out and bolt the door after she left.
13:18 Now she was wearing a long robe with sleeves, for thus were the virgin daughters of the king dressed. So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. 19 And Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she wore. And she laid her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went.
The Hebrew word that is translated in verse eighteen as ’sleeves’ is pǎs·sîm’, and it is also in the following verse (but not always translated, as it is here in the ESV), it can refer to something made with many colors (see Genesis 37:3, 23, 32) or it can refer to a long-sleeved tunic or robe. The Septuagint translates it in verse eighteen as the Greek word karpōtos and in verse nineteen as karpōton, both adjectives refer to going down to the wrists, believed to be a reference to long-sleeved robes. Regardless of how these words are interpreted (many colors, long robe, or long-sleeved robe, etc.) the garment Tamar was wearing was unique to only the virgin daughters of David.
She was wearing the robe with sleeves, and we are told that all of David’s virgin daughters wore these robes. Tamar then put ashes on her head and tore the robe she was wearing (she possibly tore off the long sleeves representing that she was no longer a virgin).
13:20 And her brother Absalom said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? Now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this to heart.” So Tamar lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom’s house.
Absalom sees his sister and seeing her covered in ashes and the torn robe, he instantly surmises that Amnon had violated her. He comforts her by telling her, “Well, my sister, keep quiet for now, since he’s your brother. Don’t you worry about it.” (2 Samuel 13:30b, NLT) We are told that Tamar then lived a desolate woman in Absalom’s home.
13:21 When King David heard of all these things, he was very angry. 22 But Absalom spoke to Amnon neither good nor bad, for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had violated his sister Tamar.
When David heard about his daughter being raped by his eldest son, we are told he was very angry, but no mention of punishment or any other response. We are also told that Absalom wouldn’t talk to Amnon because of what he did to his sister.
For his part, King David “was furious” (v. 21). The outrageous misconduct by his heir-apparent was both a shame and an embarrassment to the royal family. Nevertheless, there was little that the king could do in response to the situation. The only penalty prescribed in the Torah for Amnon was the payment of fifty shekels of silver (Deut 22:29), an insignificant sum for the king’s son. While David could have also forced Amnon to marry Tamar (cf. Exod 22:16; Deut 22:29), doing so would have created an emotionally explosive situation that only multiplied the family’s heartache: besides, the Torah prohibited marriage between near kinsmen (cf. Lev 18:11; 20:17; Deut 27:22). Thus David found himself in a posture of weakness in the matter. His situation had become uncomfortably similar to that of Eli, who also had to deal with errant offspring (cf. 1 Sam 2:22–25).[1]
Absalom Murders His Brother Amnon
13:23 After two full years Absalom had sheepshearers at Baal-hazor, which is near Ephraim, and Absalom invited all the king’s sons. 24 And Absalom came to the king and said, “Behold, your servant has sheepshearers. Please let the king and his servants go with your servant.”
Two full years pass since Amnon raped Tamar, and now Absalom is sponsoring a sheepshearer’s celebration. The location of this sheepshearing was Baal-hazor (believed to be Tell Hazor, AKA Jebel el-‘Asur, approximately five miles northeast of Bethel) near the town of Ephraim (see John 11:54). The time of sheepshearing was typically a time of great festivity, which included large meals and significant amount of drinking. Since great quantities of wine was consumed, many of these celebrations also left the participants vulnerable (see Genesis 31:19; 1 Samuel 25:1-38). Perhaps trying to shroud his real motive, Absalom calls for a family reunion at his sheepshearing. He begins by inviting his father and his household to join them.
13:25 But the king said to Absalom, “No, my son, let us not all go, lest we be burdensome to you.” He pressed him, but he would not go but gave him his blessing. 26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon go with us.” And the king said to him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 But Absalom pressed him until he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him.
David tells his son that they will not all come because that would be a huge burden on him. Absalom continued to press David, who eventually gave him his blessing (likely his approval to invite other family members), but he would not be there himself. Then Absalom asked if the king wouldn’t be there, how about the “crown prince” the next in line to become king, Amnon. David asked him why would he invite Amnon, Absolom again continued to press his father until he said that Amnon and all the king’s sons could go. The hesitancy of David seems to imply that he may be concerned that Absalom may harm Amnon due to him raping his sister.
13:28 Then Absalom commanded his servants, “Mark when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Do not fear; have I not commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant.”
The day of sheepshearing arrived and before the festivities began, Absalom commands his servants to note when Amnon is drunk with wine and when he tells them to “Strike Amnon,” they are to kill him. He further instructs them to have no fear in doing what he said, as he is the one who commanded them to do it, he will take the blame. He then tells them to be courageous and valiant.
13:29 So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each mounted his mule and fled.
Absalom’s servants did exactly what they were commanded to do, which undoubtedly caused a stir among all who attended the party. We are told that all of the other king’s sons mounted their mules and immediately left.
13:30 While they were on the way, news came to David, “Absalom has struck down all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left.” 31 Then the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the earth. And all his servants who were standing by tore their garments.
While everyone was fleeing the scene, David got word that Absalom killed all of his sons and no one was left. David got up and tore his garments and laid on the ground to mourn their loss. All of his servants who were nearby and heard also tore their garments.
13:32 But Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David’s brother, said, “Let not my lord suppose that they have killed all the young men, the king’s sons, for Amnon alone is dead. For by the command of Absalom this has been determined from the day he violated his sister Tamar. 33 Now therefore let not my lord the king so take it to heart as to suppose that all the king’s sons are dead, for Amnon alone is dead.”
David is informed by Jonadab, the same person who gave Amnon the idea of how to get his sister Tamar to come to him (see verse three), that only Amnon had died. That Absalom commanded that his servants be put to death because of what he did to Tamar, something that Absalom had been planning to do since the day Amnon violated Tamar. Jonadab tells David to not think that all of his sons were dead, just Amnon.
Considerations
Parallels the Massacre at Shechem
It would be difficult to not see the parallels of the Jacob and his family in Shechem when the man named Shechem raped Jacob’s daughter. Some question if Absalom was inspired by the story of Jacob’s sons Simeon and Levi’s revenge on Shechem and his city to justify his own violent act against his half-brother.
The writer of 2 Samuel made a special effort to draw parallels between the tragic events of Amnon and Tamar and those involving Shechem and Dinah in the book of Genesis. In both instances the woman who was violated was the only named daughter of an important leader in the history of Israel. In both cases the women were unmarried. Both Amnon and Shechem were the sons of rulers, and both men “loved” the women they violated (Gen. 34:3; 2 Sam. 13:1). Both accounts referred to the men’s actions as things that “should not be done” (Gen. 34:7; 2 Sam. 13:12). After the wicked deed became known to the male siblings of the violated women, they initially did nothing but devised a devious plan to kill the offender (Gen. 34:13–17; 2 Sam. 13:24–27). Ultimately, both men who had violated the women were killed by the girls’ brothers (Gen. 34:26; 2 Sam. 13:29).[2]
Absalom Flees to Geshur
13:34 But Absalom fled. And the young man who kept the watch lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, many people were coming from the road behind him by the side of the mountain. 35 And Jonadab said to the king, “Behold, the king’s sons have come; as your servant said, so it has come about.” 36 And as soon as he had finished speaking, behold, the king’s sons came and lifted up their voice and wept. And the king also and all his servants wept very bitterly.
Absalom quickly left the festivities. Meanwhile back in Jerusalem a watchman could now see many people coming down the road behind him next to the mountain (the Septuagint identifies the road as being the one from Horonain), he apparently called everyone’s attention that people were approaching. Jonadab then sees them approach and tells everyone that everything he said was true, that David’s sons had returned. When they arrived they vocalized their grief and wept, David and his servants also wept.
13:37 But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son day after day. 38 So Absalom fled and went to Geshur, and was there three years. 39 And the spirit of the king longed to go out to Absalom, because he was comforted about Amnon, since he was dead.
Absalom left Israel to Talmai, the king of Geshur, his grandfather (the daughter of Talmai was Maacah, one of David’s wives, see 2 Samuel 3:3’ 1 Chronicles 3:2). We are told that David mourned for his son every day. Absalom stayed in Geshur for three years. “And King David, now reconciled to Amnon’s death, longed to be reunited with his son Absalom.” (2 Samuel 13:39, NLT) A footnote of this verse in the NLT offers an alternate interpretation, “And King David, now reconciled to Amnon’s death, no longer felt a need to go out after Absalom.”
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[1] Bergen, R. D. (1996). 1, 2 Samuel (Vol. 7, p. 383). Broadman & Holman Publishers.
[2] Andrews, S. J., & Bergen, R. D. (2009). 1, 2 Samuel (Vol. 6, pp. 299–300). Holman Reference.